Friday, October 24, 2014

DON'T SAY WE DIDN'T WARN YOU!

The season of non-stop horror movie marathons is in full swing! From machete wielding characters to wax museums that use all the friends you just went camping with as the exhibits...October is chock full of dark scary television fun. As cheesy as some can be, these creepy flicks have taught us some pretty good survival tools over the last several decades. By now, most of us know the "what not to do's" during this time of the year in order to survive. Just in case some of you have forgotten, here they are again in no particular order...
  1. Babysit. We all know that babysitting only leads to death during the month of October. Even if it is the only time you get to bump uglies with your boyfriend without your parents finding out...don't do it. The kids sleeping upstairs have a better shot at surviving through the night than you and the high school quarter back do, grinding away on the living room couch. Most babysitting stabbings occur mid thrust anyway - leaving you and your partner not only dead...but very unsatisfied.

  2. Run Out of Gas. With Kwik Fills and Sunoco stations on practically every street corner in America, it is amazing that this still happens. However, it does only seem to happen to good-looking men and women traveling at night on dark country roads. So if you need to visit Aunt Betty who lives in the sticks and you just happen to resemble Mila Kunis or Ryan Gosling...make sure you fill er' up.

  3. Camping. If you know of anyone going camping this month, our advice is to quickly become the beneficiary on their life insurance policy - you'll cash in soon enough. It's a proven fact that going camping equals being sliced and diced, either in a tent or in a cabin. However, if it is out of your control and you are forced to do the unthinkable and go camping against your will...stay in a cabin that has indoor plumbing, never open the door to check on "that noise outside", don't step foot in the shower, and practice abstinence. Mixing sex with camping is a recipe for naked death. And if the campsite you're going to is named Crystal Lake...save sometime and just stab your own self in the face now.

  4. Go In Basements. We understand that it is completely normal at other times of the year to check the electrical box in the basement when the power goes out...but not now, man. The absolute last thing you should ever do is check on anything in the basement. It's full throttle obvious that someone is waiting for you down there with a rusty butcher knife. If the power goes out - grab your dog (if their heads haven't been cut off yet and shoved through the doggie door) and run like hell. And don't run to your neighbors, masked men in blue jumpsuits can find you there too!

  5. Skinny Dip. This is just not a good date night idea. Besides the possible unknown creature swimming below your feet - there is also the murderous threat that awaits on-shore. If one of you doesn't start suddenly splashing around in panic like a two-year old in a kiddie pool,only to disappear from the waters surface...chances are you are going to be greeted up on the sand by a chainsaw to the head. If you are looking for romance...light some candles and put on Michael Buble's greatest hits, skip the water.

  6. Investigate Noises. Opening up the back door or going downstairs to check on a strange noise in the house is the number one cause of death for unsuspecting people during October. Of course you want to make sure "that noise" was just a cat in the alley or the hot water pipes rattling...but that's not what it will be if you go and check. There is definitely a freakishly strong psychopath in your house or some paranormal shit going on. It is always best to stay in bed with the covers over your head until morning. What you can't see won't hurt you is the proper approach to take here.

  7. Make Out In A Car. This less than glamorous event has been killing teenagers on-screen for decades. If you want to be just another statistic...then by all means, park it and pucker up. However, if you want to live past tomorrow, avoid car make-out sessions in any location. Drive-in's, dark parking lots, wooded pull-offs, parking garages, and anything nicknamed "lovers lane" are all hotbeds of death and terror.

  8. Stay In A Motel. We would recommend trying a Best Western or Hilton before deciding to pull into a motel located next to a truck stop. Besides the fact that these seedy vacancies never offer continental breakfasts or clean sheets to their guests, they are virtually nothing more than giant crime scenes of mass murders. But in the off chance that the Hyatt is completely booked and the Bates Motel is the only thing available for 300 miles...remember to never go to the vending machines - ice and Twizzlers are just not that important. It's also best to stack all of the motel furniture in front of the door as well. And if you find yourself in an adjoining room - drink a Red Bull and keep on driving.

  9. Lose Phone Service. With cell towers practically out numbering people at this point, it is a bizarre occurrence if your cell phone completely loses its signal. On the Discovery Channel they even show Eskimo's talking on their iphone's while ice fishing in the Arctic. So if you find yourself in any of the aforementioned situations (camping in the woods, deserted on a dark country road, in a basement, in a motel, or babysitting) and your phone service goes dead - odds are that's how you are going to end up very shortly. Check your bars people!!

  10. Be The Token. No matter what race or ethnicity you are...make sure you are not the only one of that color or origin within your group of friends. If you're from India and you find yourself at an all Japanese Halloween house party...you'll be the first to go. Being the "token" is a clear cut signal of death, without question. Be aware of your surroundings. If you become out numbered by a group of whites, blacks, Koreans, or Turkish opera singers...just run. Yes, there is safety in numbers...but right now it's only safe if those numbers look the same as you. 
Stay alive kickballers! It's a mad, mad world out there!
Source: http://www.nackakickball.com/article.cfm?Page=Articles&ArticleNumber=96

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

THIS ISN'T PLAYGROUND BALL...THIS IS FALL KICKBALL!

Who: The Ladybugs vs. Should Have Been Swallowed
Where: Sahlen Stadium Field #2
When: Thursday, October 2nd 8:15PM

The Ladybugs
Team CaptainDevon Cottle
Team Sponsor: Matthew's East End Grill
Captain's Pre-Game Strategy: "Our strategy? I'm gonna have to think about that. Um...can I get back to you?"

Should Have Been Swallowed
Team Captain: Danny Gibaud
Team Sponsor: Prepps
Captain's Pre-Game Strategy: "We don't have a strategy - we just like playing. We got a bunch of newbies, I got my parents playing with us. So I guess our strategy is just to have fun...and possibly win, but it's never gonna happen."


Clear skies, crisp air, and an endless lava flow of cold beer set the tone for Thursday nights kickoff between the ever-so dainty Ladybugs and Should Have Been Swallowed. Techno music blasting from the speakers had all the players frantically searching for their glow sticks as they completed their squat thrusts, slammed their drinks, and took to the field. Game on!

The 1st Inning:

Should Have Been Swallowed went down hard during their first ups - shooting blanks all over the field. 3 kicks + 3 outs = side retired. It's simple math children.

Pumped up from their Jeter-like moves in the field, the Ladybugs took their turn at the plate. The first kick of the inning landed a runner on first, as the right fielder bobbled and dropped what "Should Have Been..." an easy out. Fast forward to two outs and a runner on first...the Ladybugs sent a ball sailing into far left  - bringing in a run. Another drill to left and a short kick to third loaded the bases like a shotgun at a Young Jeezy concert. Luckily for Swallowed, a force out at second ended what could have been a devastating blow to any kickballers ego.


The 2nd Inning:

After an embarrassing start to the game, Should Have Been Swallowed brushed the rug burns off their knees, attempting to redeem themselves during the top of the 2nd. First kick...pop out to center. Second kick...pop out to center. (At this point somebody should have told them to stop kicking to center.) Third kick...pop out to center. (But they didn't.) Still 1-0 Ladybugs.

Upon returning to the plate with freshly filled beers, the Ladybugs were at it again. Back to back drives to the outfield landed runners on 1st and 2nd respectively. In an attempt to kill the kicking mojo...the Swallowed's center fielder paused the game for the longest shoe tying session on record. A clever attempt, (no one noticed he was wearing Velcro), but an unsuccessful one. A hanger kicked to right drove in a run before the inning ended. 2-0 Bugs.


The 3rd Inning:

Inspired by hearing "Moves Like Jagger" played throughout the stadium, Should Have Been Swallowed ramped up their kicking skills in the 3rd. With a grounder to left, a bunt to first, and a long drive to center, they were on the board...squashing Ladybugs as they rounded the bases.

Stunned by the drastic turn around, the Ladybugs choked on Swallowed's pitching moves during the bottom of the inning. Pop ups, force outs, and being hit in the back with balls left the inning scoreless. 2-1 Ladybugs lead.


The 4th Inning:

Down by one run and flying high from the 3rd inning, Should Have Been Swallowed ejaculated balls all over the field during the top of the 4th. With base runners galore and a ground rule double, Swallowed climaxed, bringing in 3 runs. 4-2 Swallowed.

The Ladybugs, now visibly shaken and drunk, attempted to answer back and catch Swallowed in a postcoital nap. However, they did not anticipate the cat-like reflexes of the third baseman - catching multiple line drives without the need for catnip or a scratching post. Inning over.


The 5th Inning:

With a 2 run lead and big swollen heads, Should Have Been Swallowed took to the plate with rock hard...feet? After a pop up to short and a throw out at 1st, Swallowed finally landed on base when the Ladybugs pitcher confused the game of kickball with soccer. Back to back successful kicks brought the score to 5-2.

To get the momentum shifting, the Ladybugs brought in the fists and shouted a team chant before sending off the first kick of the inning. Though their cheer was no match for the sic rhymes being laid down by Little John on the loud speaker, it did do some damage to the scoreboard. With the help of a few fielding errors, the Ladybugs sent home 2 runners...bringing the score to a 5-4 game. Yes, we know this is getting intense...simmer down.


The 6th Inning:

With a marginal lead, Should Have Been Swallowed felt pressure during the top of the inning...taking most of it out on the umpire. Their four year old temper tantrums led them to drop bombs in the field - not those kind of bombs, those would get us fined. Even with their second base runner getting tea-bagged on her way to third, Swallowed still managed to put 2 runs up on the board.

"Rah-Rah...we are the Ladybugs...Rah!" The fearsome Ladybug cheer intimidated Should Have Been Swallowed into making a series of ridiculous fielding errors during the bottom of the 6th. Looking like the Rockettes during their Christmas Spectacular Show, the Ladybugs traveled the bases like Columbus and drove in 4 runs to regain the lead. Inning over. 8-7 Ladybugs. Yikes!


The 7th Inning:

Listening to the Ladybugs pep squad in the field and shouting more F-bombs than Andrew Dice Clay does in a week, Should Have Been Swallowed took to the plate just in time for "Pumped Up Kicks" to play throughout the stadium. The 2nd kick of the inning placed a runner on first with one out. After a quick pop up to left for another out, Swallowed blasted a money shot to far center for an in-the-park-homerun. 9-8 Swallowed.

Ditching their skirts and pom-poms, the Ladybugs smacked each others asses and prepared for battle during their last ups. Two consecutive bunts down the third baseline placed two runners on with no outs. A shot to center had the second base runner tagging up and heading for home. Nailing the cut-off, the shortstop ran the ball in as the runner rounded third. Unfortunately, just as the shortstop fired the ball, he tripped and fell on his face - exposing his crack and allowing in the winning run. A terrible way to go down. Final score: 9-8 Ladybugs.


Thursday nights match up between The Ladybugs and Should Have Been Swallowed further proved the fact that 3rd graders at recess have nothing on NACKA Kickballers. This isn't the playground. This isn't Kansas, Dorothy. This is fall kickball. A place to kick balls hard without being slapped with an assault charge.

Photo Credits: Frohtography


Thursday, October 9, 2014

WHAT'S ON TAP? A CRAP TON OF BEER, THAT'S WHAT!

Fall is an awesome time of the year. Yes, it is the season of crisp days, cool nights, warm fires, falling leaves, and colorful scenery. But more importantly, it's that time of the year where we all get to celebrate BEER...in public...and in mass quantities! 

Saturday, October 4th kicks of the annual Festival of Ales in Honeoye Falls (yes, we know that this is not located in the city...but seriously, put on your big boy pants, pack your Spider-Man lunch box, and get in your car seat). This frothy 4 hour drink-off delivers over 40 different kinds of unique brews - poured ever so delicately in miniature little baby pub glasses. (If you never thought you had huge Hamburger Helper hands before...you will after holding these glasses for an hour.) There is also a ton of food, entertainment, and live music - making for a pretty freaking fun afternoon. Just look at how much fun the people below are having...that could be YOU!


This years festival will be featuring a variety of seasonal ales, such as; Hoggee Harvest, Big Dinner Pumpkin Ale, Harvest Basil Brown Ale, Oktoberfest, and Bromigo Smoked Maple Amber Ale (just to name a few). Now is not the time to reserve your pumpkin cravings solely for pies, muffins, coffee creamer and latte's. It's time to give your mouth something new to suck on. And speaking of sucking on...the Festival of Ales is also playing host to a chili cookoff, benefiting Mercy Flight. Between the beers and the chili - we're guessing the lines are going to be the longest at the port-a-potty's.

Hopefully we'll be able to get our beer sample on with some of our NACKA Kickballers at the Festival of Ales this year...or at least get to stand in line for the bathrooms together! Bottoms up ballers!

Festival of Ales
  • Saturday, October 4th 1pm - 5pm (Rain or Shine)
  • Honeoye Falls Fireman's Field
  • Over 40 Unique Beers
  • Live Music
  • Food & Entertainment
  • Chili Cookoff
  • Hosted By: CB Craft Brewers

Source: http://www.nackakickball.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=94

KICKS 4 KIDS CHARITY TOURNAMENT WINNERS



Congratulations to Wolffpack for winning the Kicks 4 Kids
Charity Tournament!  They received $1000 for their efforts!


IT'S ALL FALL TO NACKA KICKBALL!

Monday, September 22nd at 10:29 p.m. marked the 2014 Autumnal equinox - thrusting us folks up in the northern hemisphere right into the clutches of fall. From falling leaves and colder temperatures to longer nights and pumpkin carving...fall is a season that is preferred by many, enjoyed by most, and celebrated by all. However, there are some differences between the average person and the NACKA Kickballer when it comes to this festive season.


The Fall Season for the Average Person vs. The Fall Season for the NACKA Kickballer

The Average Person: Enjoys daytime hikes and late night walks, taking in nature and fall's stunning scenery.
The NACKA Kickballer: Reserves all physical activity for the field.

The Average Person: Feasts on seasonal foods like; apple pie, beef stew, and grandma's Sunday sauce, while sipping on a nice glass of merlot.
The NACKA Kickballer: Eats hot dogs and drinks beer...year round...no exception.

The Average Person: Fills up their weekends with apple festivals, pumpkin patches, and corn mazes.
The NACKA Kickballer: Only goes to OktoberFest.

The Average Person: Comes home straight after work to sit under a blanket by the fire, as the weather turns colder.
The NACKA Kickballer: Ignores the cold weather by wearing shorts and a t-shirt and gladly welcomes that burning bloody sensation in their lungs.

The Average Person: Hits the sheets early every night as soon as the clocks turn back.
The NACKA Kickballer: Stays up late kicking the shit out of a ball.

The Average Person: Sets the mood by starting a crackling fire and playing Kenny G. softly in the background.
The NACKA Kickballer: Sets the mood by stretching naked and singing acapella to Iggy Azalea's "I'm So Fancy".

The Average Person: Is frustrated with raking mounds of leaves for months on end.
The NACKA Kickballer: Catches the leaves as they fall instead of raking. Every moment off the field is a moment that could be spent practicing.

The Average Person: Is busy switching closets over from shorts to jeans and from t-shirts to sweaters.
The NACKA Kickballer: Keeps their shorts and t-shirts in their top drawer year round.

The Average Person: Drinks delicious warm apple cider.
The NACKA Kickballer: Drinks delicious hard apple cider.

The Average Person: Carves and paints pumpkins with the family while watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown".
The NACKA Kickballer: Books their tickets to the World Championship Punkin Chunkin contest in Delaware.

The Average Person: Passes out candy to trick-or-treaters on Halloween night.
The NACKA Kickballer: Is busy trick-or-treating on Halloween night...at bars.

The Average Person: Treats colds and flu's with plenty of rest and Nyquil.
The NACKA Kickballer: Treats colds and flu's with intense kicking and Labatt's.

The Average Person: Lights scented candles around the house for a nice warm glow.
The NACKA Kickballer: Prefers the warm glow of blazing stadium lights to candles any day of the week.

Fall kickball is in full swing! Check out our schedule and come watch a game...pumpkin carving is optional.

Source: http://www.nackakickball.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=91

FORGET FOOTBALL...FALL KICKBALL HAS STARTED!

Who: Roch Vegas GOATS vs. Tim Marion Drill Team
Where: Sahlen Stadium Field #4
When: Wednesday, September 10th 7:15PM

Roch Vegas GOATS
Team CaptainBrandon Trombley
Team Sponsor: The Scotch House Pub

Tim Marion Drill Team
Team Captain: Peter Koenig
Team Sponsor: Publick House


After trying to figure out which field was field #4 for over 10 minutes and discovering that indigo blue team shirts really just look like black...it was time to watch a seat gripping match off between the Roch Vegas GOATS and the Tim Marion Drill Team.

Quick NACKA Kickball Note: There is a method to Dave Hofstetter's field numbering system. It's just that nobody knows about it.

The rain came down right as both teams completed their warm-up exercises of 24oz arm curls and finalized their starting line-ups. At this point, it was anyone's game. Because it hadn't started yet. Here's basically how the game played out in a nutshell...

The Glorious Details of The 1st Inning:

The gray dismal skies foreshadowed how the top of the 1st was going to lay down for the Tim Marion, "I'm doing anything but drilling it", Drill Team. The first kick of the game started off nicely with a straight shot down the first baseline, leaving a runner on first. But that's where the jaw dropping excitement ended. The 2nd, 3rd, and 4th kicks of the inning failed horribly and ended their ups faster than a fat man rolling to a buffet line.

The bottom of the 1st had the two fans in the stands jumping out of their seats. Even though their first kick ended in a quick out, the GOATS proved to be not that "baaaaaaaahd" at the plate. (You know you laughed at that.) Trick kicks to the infield, mega power shots to the outfield, and the Drill Teams amazing ability to bobble and drop almost every ball kicked, landed the GOATS a 2-0 lead to end the inning.


The Genius Details of The 2nd Inning:

The Drill Team caught the GOATS grazing on grass in the outfield during the top of the 2nd. With a slew of wild pitches and wild throws everywhere, Tim Marion placed runners on bases galore. A finger pointing fielding disaster between the first and second basemen allowed a run to score and gave spectators something to talk about at work on Thursday. With 1 out, a runner on 2nd, and a power kicker up at the plate, the Drill Bits bit it hard. For reasons unknown to anyone EVER, the second base runner tagged up and ran to third just as the GOATS third baseman caught the ball directly in the baseline. Inning over (with a possible team roster change for the Drillers).

The GOATS acting like Fainting Goats during the bottom of the 2nd, went down 1-2-3. FYI: If you haven't seen a Fainting Goat...you're missing out.


The Epic Details of The 3rd Inning:

Tiny Tim Marion failed to produce any runs during the top of the 3rd. Two outs kicked to left and a pop up to third ended their ups and left them trotting back out to the field with their heads hung low in kickball shame.

The bottom of the 3rd was one of the most exciting kickball innings of the season. Seeing that it's only a few weeks into the season, it's unclear of what that's really saying. The GOATS managed to dust off their hoofs and kick the hell out of the ball. A solo home run brought the GOATS lead to 3-1. But that wasn't even the exciting part! Happenings going down over at field #1 resembled parts of the recent Ray Rice video. The girl fielding at third was run over by a very large, ox-like second base runner. The flattening made both teams clear their benches and gather over at third base for a pretty heated discussion. Don't worry...everything worked out and everyone was fine. But still...it was awesome. You should of been there.


The Nail Biting Details of The 4th Inning:

Rin Tim Tim Marion turned up their power drills during the top of the 4th, putting the heat on the GOATS. The heat, making the GOATS shed fur like crazy, came in the form of 2...count them, 2 runs. Balls were drilled all over the field, taking the GOATS by surprise and bringing the scoreboard up to a 3-3 game. We're still finding GOAT hairs in the outfield.

The GOATS, now hairless and stunned, took their cleats to the ball for a chance to Rogaine, er regain, the lead in the bottom of the 4th. A bomb to center landed a runner on second to start the show. With consecutive successful kicks, the GOATS finished the inning with a 4-3 lead.


The "Is Anyone Still Reading This" Details of The 5th Inning:

The Drill Team kicked well during the top of the 5th, covering all the bases with runners. Unfortunately, their kicking ability didn't hold a candle to the agile fielding of the GOATS. Seriously, have you ever seen a goat in a field...it's majestic. No runs were put up.

The GOATS showed no mercy to their opponents throughout the bottom of the 5th. Tim Marion errors were vomited all over the field, allowing several runs to score. Kicking long shot after long shot to center, the GOATS galloped around the bases like thoroughbreds bringing home 3 runs.

The rain, which most likely was Bon Jovi's tears over losing the Bills bid, was soft and steady the entire game. It led to both teams kicking foul balls and overthrowing bases inning after inning...proving the fact that wet balls are fun for no one.


The "Don't Worry It's Almost Over" Details of The 6th Inning:

The Tim Marion ladies obviously stretched their quads and hammies just before the top of the 6th, drilling 2 back to back kicks to start off the inning. With runners on first and second, a double kicked to right brought in a run. Unfortunately, 3 outs came quickly after, ending the inning with a score of 7-4.

The GOATS had slippery hoofs during the bottom of the 6th and went down and out in 4 kicks.

There was no music playing at Wednesday nights game. In the beginning, it felt slightly odd to watch this match-up without One Direction serenading the crowd. But as the night traveled on, the random F-Bombs heard echoing throughout the stadium became music to everyone's ears.


The "For The Love Of God" Details of The 7th Inning:

With their last shot to milk some goats, the Tim Marion Drill Team clutched their beers tightly and toasted to a miracle. At least they got to drink, because they sure didn't get any runs. The GOATS third baseman was on fire, making all 3 outs to end the game. GOATS win 7-4.

**No GOATS were injured during the making of this article**
 

Source: http://www.nackakickball.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=90

THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!

Oktober in September? Someone's clearly been drinking already...but we like it! This weekend kicks off the 27the annual Oktoberfest celebration at Camp Eastman in Irondequoit! If you're itching to stuff your face with apple strudel, brats, and kegs of beer...well, it looks like you've just found your weekend plans. Dust off your lederhosen and David Hasselhoff picture frames kickballers...it's time to get down and dirty, German style!


This beer-fueled event is filled to the brim with traditional German food and entertainment for your entire Von Trapp family! What could be better than sitting under a ginormous tent drinking a years worth of beer in 2 weekends, while attempting to dance the polka? Ummmm...nothing. Well maybe playing kickball...but we digress.

This years Oktoberfest features a gaggle of German singers and bands like the Golden Keys, Melody Lane, Richard Brandl, and more. Now is NOT the time to reserve your yodeling for the Ricola Cough Drops commercials. It's time to sing as if your name were Heidi and you live in the Alps with your Gramps! There will be hours of live entertainment, including performances by Joe Maloy "Mr. Oktoberfest, and by Hilby the Skinny German Juggle Boy. No we're serious, this dude will be there. When your country idolizes David Hasselhoff, this is what you get.


If you can't make it to Munich this year, don't worry, there are over 150 Oktoberfests across the U.S. and Canada alone. And ironically, there is one right in our very own backyard that is pretty damn sweet. It's not often where you can wear leather shorts and dress socks without being punched in the face, so you might as well take advantage of it. If you don't have any good German attire to sport this year - no worries. They'll be plenty of funky hats, pipes, clogs, suspenders, and steins to purchase at the event for the whole family. 

Hopefully we'll get to say Guten Tag to some of our NACKA Kickballers at Oktoberfest this year. It won't be hard to find us, we'll be the ones under the tent putting schnitzel on our weiners. Prost!

27th Annual Oktoberfest
  • September 12th, 13th & September 18th, 19th, 20th
  • Camp Eastman Irondequoit, NY
  • $8.00 for Adults, Children 6 and under Free
  • Authentic German Entertainment & Food
  • Live Music
  • Rain or Shine

Source: http://www.nackakickball.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=89

WHAT LABOR DAY MEANS TO NACKA KICKBALLERS

As the Labor Day weekend shines down upon us, it's important to point out some differences between the average person and NACKA Kickballers. This is a special time of the year that is celebrated by all...but the celebrations are slightly off.


Labor Day for the Average Person vs. Labor Day for the NACKA Kickballer

The Average Person: Marks the official end of summer with Labor Day.
The NACKA Kickballer: Marks the official end of the Summer 2014 Kickball Season with Labor Day.

The Average Person: Welcomes in the fall season with open arms.
The NACKA Kickballer: Welcomes in the Fall 2014 Kickball season with pumped up legs.

The Average Person: Celebrates the Labor Day weekend by barbequing and picnicking with family and friends.
The NACKA Kickballer: Celebrates the Labor Day weekend by barbequing and picnicking with family and friends, while stretching.

The Average Person: Spends Labor Day relaxing and unwinding, enjoying a day that is free from "labor".
The NACKA Kickballer: Spends Labor Day making line-ups and last minute cuts to their team. It is also spent sending out threatening team notices - drop the ball & die.

The Average Person: Looks for big Labor Day sales to jump in on.
The NACKA Kickballer: Looks for kickball tournaments to jump in on.

The Average Person: Cleans out and closes up the pool.
The NACKA Kickballer: Cleans out and deflates the kiddie pool.

The Average Person: Is busy getting their kids ready for school.
The NACKA Kickballer: Is busy getting rid of a hangover.

Happy Labor Day everyone! Play hard...and kick harder!

Source: http://www.nackakickball.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=88

SCOTCH, SCOTCH, SCOTCH...I LIKE SCOTCH...AND BEER!

It's that time of the season again in Rochester! The most wonderful time of the year...it's Christmas morning for over 21ers! The Flour City Brewers Fest is back and bigger than ever! If you like tasting tons of custom beers in tiny little pub glasses, while stuffing your face and jazz-hands'ing it to live music...then congratulations! You're not DEAD!


Friday, August 22nd kicks off this three hour drink-a-thon event, where your cupeth shall runneth over with an endless fountain of ice cold goodness. Combining 39 different breweries, with over 100 craft beers, and a handful of wineries...sounds like an awesome reason to use some of Rochester's finest taxi's.

In years previous, this mouth watering festival has been held at Frontier Field and High Falls. This year's event will take place at the Public Market for the 1st time ever. The good news is, if you get too drunk and end up passing out under a tent somewhere...at 6am on Saturday you'll be able to get all the fresh produce, flowers, underwear, and "Dolpey & Goombada" sunglasses you want. 

In keeping with festival tradition...there are two ways to tackle the Brew Fest:
  1. The Appreciator: You leisurely walk around to the different breweries, engaging in educational conversation with local brew masters. You will take itty-bitty sips of only select beers, sharing samples within your group and discussing your likes and dislikes of each variety. Throughout the duration of the event you will delicately taste all of the gourmet foods available, only taking breaks to sing along with the Tommy Brunett Band and to call and check in on the kids.
  2. The Self Destroyer: You realize on your ride to the festival that 3 hours is not a lot of time to taste over 100 different kinds of beers...your palms begin to sweat...but you feel up to the challenge. Immediately upon being stripped searched by security at check-in, you map out your path and embark on what will soon be an epic adventure of drunken speediness. You watch the Amazing Race regularly, so your hip to quick footed side-steps and line jumping. You dodge and weave through the crowd pushing your way up to the brew masters, only to grab your beer sample and cut out. You zip by every local food truck because eating takes up too much time...and time is of the essence. Your mission is clear. Drink as much as possible in the festivals three hour given window to get your $45 worth of alcohol. FYI: The Self Destroyer is usually the same person mentioned above that will wake up in a tent at the Public Market the next morning to buy knock-off sunglasses and pears. It is also important to note, typically the second the festival ends, this person can usually be found banging on the side of all of the closed food trucks because they are starving...and drunk.
Which ever way you choose, there's really no "wrong" way to roll on through the Brewers Fest. There is definitely a waaaaaaaaaay more fun way, but both styles will work and get the job done. 


Hopefully we'll get to cheers with some of our NACKA Kickballers! Or wake up in a tent somewhere together. Salut!

2014 Flour City Brewers Fest at the Public Market
  • Hosted By: Rohrbach Brewing Company
  • Friday, August 22nd 6pm-9pm (Rain or Shine)
  • Free Public Market Parking
  • Hundreds of Craft Beers
  • Local Food Trucks
  • Live Music
  • Proceeds benefit Holiday Outreach

Source: http://www.nackakickball.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=85

A COLD NIGHT + COLD BEERS = A LOW SCORING KICKBALL GAME

Who: Sons of Pitches vs. Tight Ash
Where: Sahlen Stadium Field #2
When: Thursday, August 14th 7:15

Sons of Pitches
Team CaptainGerry
Team Sponsor: JD Oxford's
Captain's Pre-Game Strategy: "We're feeling good tonight. Our strategy is to kick the ball, catch the ball, run...ya know, your basic strategies."

Tight Ash
Team Captains: Kari & The Reverend Brian Richard Lawler I
Team Sponsor: Colter's
Captain's Pre-Game Strategy: "We like to get together as a group at Colter's, and then we have a couple of team cocktails, and what we do is go ahead and come up with a game plan, which mostly consists of 'come on let's go out and try and win'. Every once in awhile it works out."


It was cloudy and unseasonably warm (for polar bears) when the Sons of Pitches took the field on Thursday night to take on Tight Ash. 24oz Molson Canadians and Coors Lights were in full effect as both teams collected their star players and line-ups during the sweet vocal stylings of Nicki Minaj.

The game showed promise right from the beginning as the first kick of the inning was a straight blast to a greasy fingered 2nd baseman, leading to a Tight Ash runner landing safely on first.  Unfortunately, Tight Ash's kicking steam quickly fell flat as their next 2 players were ousted in consecutive plays and their base runner made a "damn I might be cut from the team moment" by leading too far off of first.

Next, it was Sons of Pitches turn to stuff balls in Tight Ash's face and round the bases. Coincidentally, the first kick of the bottom of the first was also the first out of the bottom of the first.  It was a rocket to third that was bobbled and caught in a most uncoordinated, yet successful fielding fashion. In their first inning up, Sons of Pitches didn't make it past second base...which ironically is how most of their dates end up.


During the top of the third, Tight Ash went down 1-2-3, with team captain, Reverend Brian Richard Lawler I, starting off the disaster domino effect by kicking right into the chest of the Sons of Pitches short stop. However, being the bunch of copy cats that they are, Tight Ash swiftly returned the favor to their "luck of the Irish" rivals by making 3 outs in 3 plays as well.

The bottom of the fourth heated up when Sons of Pitches kicker, Adam, drilled a power line right to the pitcher that was dropped, allowing him to easily make it on to first. As his testosterone surged and his cockiness reached an all-time high, Adam pressed on, trying to squeeze a double out of what was clearly an obvious single. He was brought back to the shit show when he was gunned down in cold blood while attempting to slide into second. Charges are still pending.


As the innings rolled on, and the likes of Sir Mix-A-Lot and J.T. echoed throughout Sahlen Stadium, both teams suffered their share of foul balls and scoreless innings. The embarrassing shags were most likely due to frozen block feet syndrome, as the temperature in downtown Rochester fell rapidly and the rain commenced. The scoreless innings however, were most likely due to the 24oz'ers.

The fifth and sixth innings showed the same scene, quick easy outs with no runner making it beyond second base. There were a few kicks that got the blood of the crowd pumping...but they were immediately followed by an "uuuuuuggggggghhhhhh" sounded in perfect unison.


With Tight Ash putting their feet on the balls in the seventh, they placed a runner on first with one out. Just as the inning was looking up, their base runner got ball blasted rounding her way to second. Another out soon after was imminent.

Sons of Pitches pumped up their Nike's for the last kicks of the game. A ball shot into center landed a base runner on first to lead off the bottom of the seventh. Back to back successful kicks moved their runner to second with no outs on the board. As the inning drew to a close, Sons of Pitches booted a power kick to shallow left, where Moe, Larry, and Curly all attempted a play on the ball with a disastrous outcome. By the time the Stooges remembered what game they were playing and found the ball...it was too late. Sons of Pitches had brought it home and stuck it to Tight Ash with a glowing 1-0 victory.


In must be noted that throughout the entire game, the Tight Ash girls and the Sons of Pitches bitches dominated in the field, catching any ball (no matter the size) shot their way. It was an overall stellar performance by the ladies of NACKA Kickball.

Sons of Pitches (4W 5L) faces off against Sit on My Base during the Summer 2014 Playoffs on Thursday at 7:15pm on Field# 4. Tight Ash (3W 6L) faces off against One Bad Inning during the Summer 2014 Playoffs on Thursday at 7:15pm on Field# 1.