Tuesday, April 14, 2015

"HEEEEEEEY BATTER, BATTER, BATTER, BATTER...SWING BATTER"

"...He can't hit, he can't hit, he can't hit, he can't hit...swing batter." April 5th officially kicked off the 2015 Major League Baseball season with the infamous rivalry between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Chicago Cubs. For the next six months, both divisions will be battling it out on the dusty diamond in hopes of winning a fancy schmancy ring that's full of bling, bling, bling.

We're hip to the fact that most of you might not realize that the MLB is officially underway as you are balls deep in NACKA's spring kickball season. Of course we understand your priorities here...but we would never want "America's favorite past-time" to be forgotten and completely overshadowed because of our ridiculously awesome league. That would just make us feel bad. So for this reason, we have compiled a fantastic list of must-see baseball movies that will have you chewing, spitting, and scratching your junk in public in less than two hours (not that any of you need more of a reason to touch yourselves in public). As you're watching, please remember that NACKA is an equal opportunity sports enthusiast.


Because we are a stellar kickball league and not Siskel & Ebert circa 1988, the following movies are listed only in alphabetical order. When it comes time to put some Kickball teams in a list...we'll rank the shit out of that. But until that time...pick a few, oil your glove, bust out the sunflower seeds, and start streaming.

*NACKA Note: We realize that some of these movies are cheesier than the queso dip at Chili's. But sometimes we all need to add a little bit more cheese into our diets.

NACKA Kickball's Must-See Baseball Movies List:
  1. 42 (2013)
  2. 61 (2001)
  3. A League of Their Own (1992)
  4. Angels in the Outfield (1994)
  5. Bang the Drum Slowly (1973)
  6. Bull Durham (1988)
  7. Brewster's Millions (1985)
  8. Cobb (1994)
  9. Eight Men Out (1988)
  10. Fever Pitch (2005)
  11. Field of Dreams (1989)
  12. For Love of the Game (1999)
  13. Little Big League (1994)
  14. Major League (1989)
  15. Million Dollar Arm (2014)
  16. Moneyball (2011)
  17. Mr. 3000 (2004)
  18. Mr. Baseball (1992)
  19. Rookie of the Year (1993)
  20. Summer Catch (2001)
  21. The Babe (1992)
  22. The Bad News Bears (1976)
  23. The Fan (1996)
  24. The Naked Gun (1988)
  25. The Natural (1984)
  26. The Perfect Game (2009)
  27. The Rookie (2002)
  28. The Sandlot (1993)
  29. The Scout (1994)
  30. Trouble with the Curve (2012)

Source: https://www.nackakickball.com/article.cfm?Page=Articles&ArticleNumber=119

30 TEAM NAMES MADE WITHOUT PARENTAL CONSENT

NACKA Kickball's spring season is officially underway! Rubber balls are being gripped tightly and kicked lightly three nights out of the week at Sahlen's Stadium. As we make our way through the season, creating schedules and brackets and such, we are reminded of just how good our kickballers are at coming up with witty team names. Yes, most of these team names are dirty and downright shameful. Yes, most of these team names were definitely drawn up on a napkin, at a bar, in crayon. And yes, most of these teams are terrible at playing kickball. But these teams have one thing in common...they all are exceptionally good at creating ingenious kickball puns.

Here are some of the NACKA Kickball teams, both past and present, that we feel have gone above and beyond with using vulgar game day innuendo's to create their team rosters. And for those of you who think they can come up with better (or worse)...the summer season is lurking right around the corner. Forget about what your grandma would think...forget about your moms disappointed face...grab a group, get drunk, and draft up a team name that would leave your third grade teacher crying in disgust.    

**Don't get your jock strap in a bunch...these team names are listed in no particular order.**

NACKA Kickball's Tasteless Team Names:
  1. "Flock of Seaballs"
  2. "I'm Kick James, Bitch"
  3. "Pitches n' Hoes"
  4. "Kick Tease"
  5. "Fresh Prince of Ball-Air"
  6. "Bitches Be Crazy"
  7. "Multiple Scoregasms"
  8. "We Got the Runs"
  9. "We Finished on Your Base"
  10. "Slap a Pitch"
  11. "Been There, Kicked That"
  12. "Virgins Stop at Third"
  13. "Too Legit to Kick"
  14. "Dirty Beavers & Sticky Balls"
  15. "I Got 99 Problems, But a Kick Ain't One"
  16. "Drunk Again and Looking to Score"
  17. "Let's Kick! But First, Let Me Take a Selfie!"
  18. "For 10 Cents a Day You Can Feed Our Right Fielder"
  19. "I Kicked a Girl and I Liked It"
  20. "Red Balls & Vodka"
  21. "Where My Pitches At?"
  22. "Drinkers With a Kicking Problem"
  23. "Ball and Oats"
  24. "It Burns When I Kick"
  25. "Five DowaKicky Kicky"
  26. "Pitch Don't Kill My Vibe"
  27. "Booze On First?"
  28. "That Escalated Kickly"
  29. "NACKA Please!"
  30. "We Came, We Kicked, We Sucked Balls"

Source: https://www.nackakickball.com/article.cfm?Page=Articles&ArticleNumber=118

SPRING HAS SPRUNG AND KICKBALL HAS BEGUN

The geese are flying home (to igloos), snow is melting (and accumulating), birds are chirping (because they're frozen), and balls are flying...(at Sahlen Stadium)!

That's right little ones, the spring season for NACKA Kickball is in full swing! It might not feel warm and spring-like outside but rest assured every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday night there will be wet balls being pounded into submission among a sea of high fives in downtown Rochester. With team names such as; "Pitches Be Crazy", "Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver", and "Slutts...Butts...and Ballers", this season promises to not be a sober one.    

As NACKA's opening week draws to a close, the anticipation of games to come is at an all-time high. Three nights out of the week beginning at 7:15pm gaggles of grown adults set aside their dignity and self respect for a few hours in order to battle it out on the field under the blazing lights. If the thought of watching slightly competitive kickball being played by more than slightly drunken team members peeks your curiosity - then seriously, swing on down. Grab some beers at our beer truck and take a seat in the stands. Heckling is encouraged. Nudity is optional.



Source: https://www.nackakickball.com/article.cfm?Page=Articles&ArticleNumber=117