Where: Sahlen Stadium Field #4
When: Wednesday, September 10th 7:15PM
Roch Vegas GOATS
Team Captain: Brandon Trombley
Team Sponsor: The Scotch House Pub
Tim Marion Drill Team
Team Captain: Peter Koenig
Team Sponsor: Publick House
After trying to figure out which field was field #4 for over 10 minutes and discovering that indigo blue team shirts really just look like black...it was time to watch a seat gripping match off between the Roch Vegas GOATS and the Tim Marion Drill Team.
Quick NACKA Kickball Note: There is a method to Dave Hofstetter's field numbering system. It's just that nobody knows about it.
The rain came down right as both teams completed their warm-up exercises of 24oz arm curls and finalized their starting line-ups. At this point, it was anyone's game. Because it hadn't started yet. Here's basically how the game played out in a nutshell...
The Glorious Details of The 1st Inning:
The gray dismal skies foreshadowed how the top of the 1st was going to lay down for the Tim Marion, "I'm doing anything but drilling it", Drill Team. The first kick of the game started off nicely with a straight shot down the first baseline, leaving a runner on first. But that's where the jaw dropping excitement ended. The 2nd, 3rd, and 4th kicks of the inning failed horribly and ended their ups faster than a fat man rolling to a buffet line.
The bottom of the 1st had the two fans in the stands jumping out of their seats. Even though their first kick ended in a quick out, the GOATS proved to be not that "baaaaaaaahd" at the plate. (You know you laughed at that.) Trick kicks to the infield, mega power shots to the outfield, and the Drill Teams amazing ability to bobble and drop almost every ball kicked, landed the GOATS a 2-0 lead to end the inning.
The Genius Details of The 2nd Inning:
The Drill Team caught the GOATS grazing on grass in the outfield during the top of the 2nd. With a slew of wild pitches and wild throws everywhere, Tim Marion placed runners on bases galore. A finger pointing fielding disaster between the first and second basemen allowed a run to score and gave spectators something to talk about at work on Thursday. With 1 out, a runner on 2nd, and a power kicker up at the plate, the Drill Bits bit it hard. For reasons unknown to anyone EVER, the second base runner tagged up and ran to third just as the GOATS third baseman caught the ball directly in the baseline. Inning over (with a possible team roster change for the Drillers).
The GOATS acting like Fainting Goats during the bottom of the 2nd, went down 1-2-3. FYI: If you haven't seen a Fainting Goat...you're missing out.
The Epic Details of The 3rd Inning:
Tiny Tim Marion failed to produce any runs during the top of the 3rd. Two outs kicked to left and a pop up to third ended their ups and left them trotting back out to the field with their heads hung low in kickball shame.
The bottom of the 3rd was one of the most exciting kickball innings of the season. Seeing that it's only a few weeks into the season, it's unclear of what that's really saying. The GOATS managed to dust off their hoofs and kick the hell out of the ball. A solo home run brought the GOATS lead to 3-1. But that wasn't even the exciting part! Happenings going down over at field #1 resembled parts of the recent Ray Rice video. The girl fielding at third was run over by a very large, ox-like second base runner. The flattening made both teams clear their benches and gather over at third base for a pretty heated discussion. Don't worry...everything worked out and everyone was fine. But still...it was awesome. You should of been there.
The Nail Biting Details of The 4th Inning:
Rin Tim Tim Marion turned up their power drills during the top of the 4th, putting the heat on the GOATS. The heat, making the GOATS shed fur like crazy, came in the form of 2...count them, 2 runs. Balls were drilled all over the field, taking the GOATS by surprise and bringing the scoreboard up to a 3-3 game. We're still finding GOAT hairs in the outfield.
The GOATS, now hairless and stunned, took their cleats to the ball for a chance to Rogaine, er regain, the lead in the bottom of the 4th. A bomb to center landed a runner on second to start the show. With consecutive successful kicks, the GOATS finished the inning with a 4-3 lead.
The "Is Anyone Still Reading This" Details of The 5th Inning:
The Drill Team kicked well during the top of the 5th, covering all the bases with runners. Unfortunately, their kicking ability didn't hold a candle to the agile fielding of the GOATS. Seriously, have you ever seen a goat in a field...it's majestic. No runs were put up.
The GOATS showed no mercy to their opponents throughout the bottom of the 5th. Tim Marion errors were vomited all over the field, allowing several runs to score. Kicking long shot after long shot to center, the GOATS galloped around the bases like thoroughbreds bringing home 3 runs.
The rain, which most likely was Bon Jovi's tears over losing the Bills bid, was soft and steady the entire game. It led to both teams kicking foul balls and overthrowing bases inning after inning...proving the fact that wet balls are fun for no one.
The "Don't Worry It's Almost Over" Details of The 6th Inning:
The Tim Marion ladies obviously stretched their quads and hammies just before the top of the 6th, drilling 2 back to back kicks to start off the inning. With runners on first and second, a double kicked to right brought in a run. Unfortunately, 3 outs came quickly after, ending the inning with a score of 7-4.
The GOATS had slippery hoofs during the bottom of the 6th and went down and out in 4 kicks.
There was no music playing at Wednesday nights game. In the beginning, it felt slightly odd to watch this match-up without One Direction serenading the crowd. But as the night traveled on, the random F-Bombs heard echoing throughout the stadium became music to everyone's ears.
The "For The Love Of God" Details of The 7th Inning:
With their last shot to milk some goats, the Tim Marion Drill Team clutched their beers tightly and toasted to a miracle. At least they got to drink, because they sure didn't get any runs. The GOATS third baseman was on fire, making all 3 outs to end the game. GOATS win 7-4.
**No GOATS were injured during the making of this article**
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